‘How lengthy since Biden had a press convention?’ vs. ‘How lengthy since Trump tried to kill democracy?’

I doubt Biden is avoiding a formal press conference because he’s worried a reporter will ask him to repeat “person, woman, man, camera, TV” three times really fast. Could just be that he has other shit to do. Like, you know, save the country from a raging swamp ogre, scour the White House grounds for hidden Filet-O-Fishes, and ship the ex-presidential mattress to the Yucca Mountain Nuclear Waste Repository.

To be fair, Biden has appeared in front of the media numerous times since his inauguration, including during a lengthy CNN town hall last month. But apparently that doesn’t count, because the Dr. Seuss thing was last week’s outrage. That only caught on with people who tune in to Sean Hannity for his racism, not those who watch because, say, they’re convinced his head is a hamster cage covered with hippo foreskins and they’re waiting for the hamster to finally pop out.

But this is the Tan-Suit Administration 2.0, so Fox and the GOP are pulling out all the stops.

Ha ha ha ha! Funny.

Say, how many days has it been since Donald Trump tried to violently overthrow the legitimate government of the United States? (It’s 63, as of this writing.)

How many trips to my weed dispensary have I taken since then?

How many days have gone by without worrying the president of the United States will launch a military coup because the MyPillow Guy doesn’t know how elections work? Oh, what a coincidence: 49!

I’m not naive. Eventually Joe Biden will do something truly worthy of rebuke, and if and when that happens, the left will promptly rebuke him. Because—and this is key—the Democratic Party isn’t a cult.

And if Joe Biden incites a riot in four years to hang onto power, I’m pretty sure it will take me more than 63 days to forget all about it.

But, hey, I’m weird like that.

”This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on author Aldous J. Pennyfarthing via Twitter. Say “ba-bye” to the former guy. The long-anticipated EPILOGUE to Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is now available for FREE. Download your copy here! And don’t forget to check out the rest of AJP’s oeuvre here.